*  You spill more food on you than the local
soup kitchen dispenses.

*  Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to
pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

*  Your after dinner moans are loud enough
to signal Dr. Kevorkian.

*  The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was
a real 14' boat!

*  The potatoes you used set off another
famine in Ireland.

*  You get grass stains on your butt after a
walk, but never sat down.

*  Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go
around your waist.

*  You receive a Sumo Wrestler application
in your e-mail.

*  You set off 3 earthquake seismographs
on your morning jog Friday.

*  Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening
only yielded gravy.

*  You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch
all the football games.

*  A guest quotes a Biblical passage from
"The Feeding of the 5000."

*  That rash on your stomach turns out to be
steering wheel burn.

*  Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your
water bed.

*  Representatives from the Butterball Hall of
Fame called twice.

*  You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.

*  It looks like the left-overs are going last
until Christmas.

*  Your arms are too heavy to reach the
keyboard & delete this message.