1.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  the finance
   committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier
   because none of the members knows how to play one.

          2.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  people ask,
   when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were
   bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

          3.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  when the
   pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,"
   five guys and two women stand up.

          4.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  opening day
   of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

          5.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...  a member of
   the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because
   "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

          6.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  the choir is
   known as the "OK Chorale".

          7.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  in a congregation
   of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

          8.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  people think
   "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

          9.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  the baptismal
   pool is a #2 galvanized " Wheeling " washtub.

          10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... robes were donated
   by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

          11.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  the
   collection plates are really hubcaps from a'56 Chevy

          12.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  instead of a
   bell you are called to service by a duck call.

          13.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..  the minister
   and his wife drive matching pickup trucks

          14.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  the
   communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

          15.  You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...  "Thou shall
   not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

          16.  You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...  the final
   words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".