1. Puppies won't ask you if it's the best puppy you've
ever had.

2. A puppy always comes to you when you call it.

3. If you show affection for a puppy, it returns it with
no strings attached.

4. All you need to do for a puppy to love you forever
is feed it and not beat it with heavy blunt objects.

5. Puppies love you unconditionally.

6. It's OK if your PUPPY gets fleas from another
puppy.

7. You can put a puppy on a leash and snap it
back if it tries to sniff other puppies.

8. Your puppy will never leave you for your
roommate, best friend, or someone with bigger
breasts / more money / better looks / a better
body / etc.

9. Puppies urinating in the front lawn is normal.

10. Puppies don't "bite the hand that feeds them."

11. Puppies are easier to train to do simple tasks.

12. A puppy never conspires with other puppies
to play with your mind.

13. Puppies never leave en masse to check out
puppies in the other room.

14. A puppy won't give you a lot of backtalk for
no apparent reason.

15. You can train your puppy to do tricks--like
play dead "all day."

16. If you have a neighbor you don't like, you
won't be as embarrassed if your Puppy poops
all over his lawn.

17. Puppies don't even pretend to know how
to fix whatever they break.

18. Puppies won't get jealous of all of your male
friends.

19. Neutering your boyfriend, as practical as it
may seem, is harder to justify.

20. A Puppy's face in the toilet bowl is less
alarming.

21. Puppies don't leave the toilet seat up.

22. Puppies don't have to show other puppies
that it's "the puppy of its house."

23. Puppies attract men; boyfriends drive them
away.

24. Puppies don't do dishes, but at least they
attempt to lick their own plate clean.

25. Puppies won't ask "Why don't you look like
THAT?" when watching TV.

26. Puppies actually look attractive with a full
body of hair.

27. Puppies don't mind staying home with the
kids.

28. Because puppies can't read maps; they
have a GOOD excuse for getting lost.

29. Puppies don't have double-standards.

30. There's no such thing as an EX-puppy...