The Virgin Mary filed suit in Los Angeles today claiming that GOD, the
father of her child, JESUS, impregnated and then deserted her and
their SON.

Mary is seeking 12 trillion, two-hundred and ten billion, one-hundred
and five million, six-hundred and three thousand dollars for 1,971
years of back child support and emotional damages.

This isn't right, Mary told reporters GOD came and
materialized as a man with the largest penis you could imagine and
without so much as a kiss rammed that monster into me with a single
thrust and filled me with enought sperm to populate ten solar
systems. Then, without so much as a thank-you he left, never to
return.

I tried to be a good mother and raise JESUS as a proper conservative,
but without money and a real father, JESUS turned into a
leftist-radical liberal who went around preaching universal
brotherhood and love stuff. The result, as you all now know was the
eventual torture and death of my son in the prime of his life here on
earth.

It's about time that GOD was held responsible for his actions. He is
without a doubt the greatest dead-bead dad in history and should be
made to pay as a lesson for others, The Virgin Mary exclaimed.

Attempts to contact GOD for comment have gone
unanswered.  Attempts to reach JESUS for his comments also went
unanswered.

The Virgin Mary is being represented by a team of attorneys headed by
Johnny Cochran.  Attorney Cochran told reporters that no stone
will left unturned in his efforts to see that justice is served in
this case and that GOD pays for his rape of Mary and then abandonment of
his bastard child, JESUS.

Concluded Attorney Cochran:  "If GOD used his BONE he must be made to
atone."