With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer Pharmacuticals is bringing forth a
 whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in
 today's society. According to company spokesman, Peter Riser, the
 following drugs are under testing now:

        DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car
                   trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask
                   directions when they got lost, compared to a control
                   group of 0.2 percent.


        PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely
                    to actually finish a household repair project before
                    starting a new one.

        CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming
                    urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially
                    cleaning up spills and "little" accidents.

        COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men
                       administered this drug noticed that their wives
                       had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see
                       if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

        BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge
                  to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after
                  taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen:
                  whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than
                  your favorite store's return limit.

        NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently
                      undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

        NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want
                         to turn off televised sports and actually converse
                         with other family members.

        FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal
                     gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage
                     can be doubled for long car rides.

        FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men
                  with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for
                  men on Viagra.

        PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in
                  the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the
                  personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose
                  turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."

        LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being
                 asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in
                 Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.


     The National Organzation For Women is lobbying congress and the FDA to
 make these new drugs available for sale over the counter, as well as
 available in men's rooms everywhere.

     In order to appeal to a boader customer base, Pfizer is also developing
 the following drugs intended primarily for women:


        NagAgra -  Causes Women not to nag their spouse

        HonydewAgra - Causes women to actually do house hold maintenance
                      instead of just writing things down

        InformAgra - Causes women to tell their spouses about plans they
                     have made that involve said spouse

        Butt-outAgra - Causes women not to pry into the personal lives
                       of others and mind their own business.

        PersonalAgra - Causes women not to discuss their sex lives with
                       aquaintances of their spouse

        SportAgra - Makes women understand the male need for consuming
                    large quantities of fermented beverages while watching
                    contact sports.

        Cindi CrawfordAgra - Need I say more??