15. You find yourself looking forward to your next random drug test. 

14. You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 1997. 

13. The only activity on your calendar? Tuesday/8:00am -- Discuss Melrose 
    Place at the water cooler.

12. You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces 
    images of Elvis.

11. You've actually figured out a way to get Gilligan off that island. 

10. You decide to see how many Mountain Dew's you can drink before the 
    inevitable explosion occurs.

9. Wake up, fix Tipper her breakfast and kiss her goodbye, then back to bed. 

8. Over 200 alphabetical, notated, and cross-indexed submissions to today's 
   Top Five List.

7. People only come into your office to borrow pencils from your ceiling. 

6. Your employer lets you listen in on his calls from the president. 

5. You *knew* that guy who hired you to find his wife's killer looked 
   familiar. 

4. No longer content with merely photo-copying your ass, you now scan it 
   and enhance it with Photoshop.

3. After months of taking frequent breaks, you now require only a single 
   can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarves. 

2. Your title? Hooters Employee Continuing Education Coordinator. 

      and the Number 1 Sign You Have Nothing to Do at Work... 

1. The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and 
   General White-Out has called for a new skirmish.