Next time you go to the public toilets (mens) you may observe one of the
   following types of vistors:

   Excitable Type
          Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.

   Sociable Type
          Joins pals for a p*ss whether he wants one or not.

   Timid Type
          Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and
          sneaks back later.

   Nosy Type
          Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's tool.

   Indifferent Type
          All urinals being occupied, uses sink.

   Clever Type
          Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at the
          same time, pees on foot.

   Vain Type
          Undoes 5 buttons when 2 will do.

   Absent-Minded Type
          Opens jacket, takes out tie, pees in pants.

   Worried Type
          Is not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a
          furtive but close inspection of tool while peeing.

   Disgruntled Type
          Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to pee, fails, farts
          again and walks out muttering.

   Conceited Type
          Holds 2-inch tool like a baseball bat while peeing.

   Sneaky Type
          Drops silent farts while peeing and looks at the bloke next to
          him.

   Sloppy Type
          Pees on shoe, walks out with flies undone, adjusts himself
          ten minutes later.

   Learned Type
          Reads a book or newspaper while peeing.

   Childish Type
          Watches bubbles at bottom of the urinal while peeing.

   Efficient Type
          Waits until has to poop and does both at the same time.

   Strong Type
          Bangs tool on side of urinal to remove drops.

   Drunken Type
          Pulls out tool, sees two, puts one away, and pees in
          trousers.

   Embarrassed Type
          Covers tool with both hands and pees through fingers.

   Cock-Eyed Type
          Stands in one cubical and pees in next one.