THE RULES LISTED BELOW APPLY TO THE CALLING OF
SHOTGUN (THE FRONT PASSENGER SEAT) IN AN AUTOMOBILE.  

THESE RULES ARE DEFINITIVE AND BINDING.

Section I

The Basic Rules

1.  In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word
     "Shotgun" as long as the driver verifies the call.

2.  SHOTGUN MAY ONLY BE CALLED IF ALL OCCUPANTS OF THE
     VEHICLE ARE OUTSIDE AND ON THE WAY TO SAID VEHICLE.

3.  Early calls are strictly prohibited.  Shotgun may only be called
     while walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive
     immediately forthcoming.  Shotgun can never be called while inside
     a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location.
     For example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for
     the return journey.


4.  The driver has final say in all ties and disputes.  The driver has
     the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or
     more persons.

Section II

Special Cases

These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in the
order presented; the case listed first will take precendence over any of
the cases beneath it, when applicable.

1.  In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or
     otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is
     automatically given Shotgun.

2.  If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is not
     driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they
     decline.

3.  In the instance the the driver's spouse, lover, or partner 
     is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given
     Shotgun, unless they decline.

4.  In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill during
     the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she will
     toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make
     appropriate use of the window.

5.  In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given
     location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated
     navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they
     decline.

6.  In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to fit
     comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and award
     Shotgun to the genetic misfit.  Alternatively, the driver and other
     passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three
     hour trip with him crammed in the back.

Section III

The Bastard Rules * 

1.  If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Bastard Rules on
     the  process of calling Shotgun.  In this case all rules, excepting
     Section I, Article 4, are suspended and the passenger seat is 
     occupied by whoever can take it by force.

2.  The driver must announce the institution of the Bastard Rules with
     reasonable warning to all passengers.  This clause reduces the amount
     of injury among the passengers and the damage done to the vehicle.