By J. Timothy Petersik from the Chronicle of Higher Education


	The Professor Says                     Interpretation

You'll be using one of the leading      I used it as a grad student.
textbooks in the field.

If you follow these few simple rules,   If you don't need any sleep, you'll
you'll do fine in the course.           do fine in the course.

The gist of what the author is saying   I don't understand the details either.
is what's most important.

Various authorities agree that...       My hunch is that...
	
The answer to your question is beyond   I don't know.
the scope of this class.

You'll have to see me during my office  I don't know.
hours for a thorough answer to your
question.

In answer to your question, you must    I really don't know.
recognize that there are several 
disparate points of view.

Today we are going to discuss a most    Today we are going to discuss my
important topic.                        dissertation.

Unfortunately, we haven't the time to   I disagree with what roughly half of
consider all of the people who made     the people in this field have said.
contributions to this field.

We can continue this discussion         1.  I'm tired of this - let's quit.
outside of class.                       2.  You're winning the arguement -
					    let's quit

Today we'll let a member of the class   I stayed out to late last night and
lead the discussion.  It will be a      didn't have time to prepare a lecture.
good educational experience.

Any questions?                          I'm ready to let you go.

The implications of this study are      I don't know what it means either,
clear.                                  but there'll be a question about it
					on the test.

The test will be 50-questions           The test will be 60-questions multiple
multiple choice.                        guess, plus three short-answer
					questions (1000 words or more) and no
					one will score above 55 per cent.

The test scores were generally good.    Some of you managed a C+.

The test scores were a little below     Where was the party last night?
my expectations.

Some of you could have done better.     Everyone flunked.

Before we begin the lecture for         Has anyone opened the book yet?
today, are there any questions 
about previous material?

According to my sources...              According to the guy who taught this
					class last year...

It's been very rewarding to teach       I hope they find someone else to
this class.                             teach it next year.