*   Husband to wife, as they take their four little monsters to
    visit some friends: "They're such nice people, it seems such
    a shame to accept their dinner invitation."
                           - - - - -

*   Overheard at a hotel in Tel Aviv: "My wife's two hours late.
    She's probably been kidnapped, or in a terrible auto accident,
    or she's shopping.  OY !  I hope she's not shopping !
                           - - - - -

*   I was seated on one of those mall benches, enjoying a smoke,
    waiting for Mrs JimJr.
    As two ladies passed by, one said to the other, "You'd think
    SOME people would realize how dangerous second-hand smoke is."
    I smiled and replied. "Looks like I chose the safest method
    by inhaling it directly then, huh ?"
                           - - - - -

*   Tipping at resorts has reached a higher level I guess.  Mrs
    JimJr and I were at Hilton Head in South Carolina when I went
    to get a haircut.  Seated in the chair, I said to the barber,
    I guess a lot of famous people pass thru here."
    He pondered a moment or two, then replied. "No Sir, you're
    the first one all this week."
                           - - - - -

*   An elderly couple, straight off the farm, were visiting New
    York's fashion district.  The man couldn't help looking at
    the models in their short skirts and revealing blouses. His
    wife said, "Henry -- one would think you never saw a woman's
    legs or breasts before."
    "Odd..." he replied. "I was just thinking the exact same
    thing myself."