• If anything can go wrong it will
• Nothing is ever as simple as it seems
• Everything takes longer than you expect
• If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will do the most damage will go wrong first.
• Left to themselves, all things go from bad to worse.
• If you play with something long enough, you will surely break it.
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• If you see that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
• Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
• Mother Nature is a bitch.
• It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
• If a great deal of time has been expended seeking the answer to a problem with the only result being failure, the answer will be immediately obvious to the first unqualified person.
• If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
• A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
• A free agent is anything but.
• As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence.
• Exceptions always outnumber rules.
• Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
• He who hesitates is probably right.
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.
• If it says "one size fits all," it doesn't fit anyone.
• If only one price can be obtained for a quotation, the price will be unreasonable.
• If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.
• Interchangeable parts won't.
• Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
• Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.
• Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price.
• Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
• No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
• No matter which way you go, it's uphill and against the wind.
• No one is listening until you make a mistake.
• One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.
• Quality assurance doesn't.
• Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
• The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.
• The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.
• The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
• The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the butter.
• The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
• The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.
• The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
• The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.
• The one item you want is never the one on sale.
• The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
• The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
• The tough part of a Data Processing Manager's job is that users don't really know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
• To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
• Trust everybody ... then cut the cards.
• Two wrongs are only the beginning.
• When reviewing your notes for a test, the most important ones will be illegible.
• When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear. When there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.
• When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all other coins will roll out of sight.
• Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.
• You never want the one you can afford.

After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
	-- Farnsdick's corollary

Murphy was an optimist.
	-- O'Toole's Commentary