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"The Annual All Time Best of the Worst Country Song Titles" as printed in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
- (Pardon Me) I've Got Someone To Kill
- I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
- If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long
- I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
- Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
- Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me
- Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed
- You're A Cross I Can't Bear
- It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me
- I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
- I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
- You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me
- Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
- Heaven's Just A Sin Away
- She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
- Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
- You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
- Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
- If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
- I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
- If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
- It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
- I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
- She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
- I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)
- I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
- If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me Her Memory Will
- Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
- If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)
- Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
- I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
- The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me"
- Do You Love As Good As You Look
- I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite
- When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
- My Shoes Keep Walkin' Back to You
- You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log
- And there was grandma, swingin' on the outhouse door, without a shirt on
- How can I miss you when you won't go away? (I keep on seeing you, day after day. You never leave here, you always stay and stay, How can I miss you when you won't go away?)
- Why do you believe me when I tell you that I love you when you know I've been a liar all my life?
- He's been drunk since his wife's gone punk
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