A is for Arteries.  You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend  ripped
out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after  your
money and could have given a shit about you.

 B is for Bitter.  Who, me?? No way.  I really hope things between them  do
work out.  I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little  devils
and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and 
they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

 C is for Call ya later.  She won't. She never has before.

 D is for Dumped.  Does D need to be explained?

 E is for Eating like a pig.  Remember when you took her out and she  said
"I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because  you
were able to afford a nice meal at  this fine restaurant.  Then she ate more 
than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains  
on everything).  So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks 
and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.

 F is for Friends.  That is what she just wants to be.  As if you can  even
stand to look at her.

 G is for Gun.  And yes there is a waiting period.

 H is for Horny.  Remember when she looked nice and even had a  personality?
 Well, you figure it out.

 I stands for I still hate her.  Odds are I always will, unless she  calls
me and offers me favors.

 J stands for Jim.  This is her new boyfriend.  Doesn't Jim have a nice  car?
 Doesn't Jim have a good job?  Why does Jim want to date her? I think  Jim
could do much better.  I hate Jim.  Jim is my mortal enemy.

 K stands for Kill.

 L is for Love.  It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two 
people and is shared upon by both parties.

 L is also for Lunatic.  Lunatics are crazy.  Lunatics are the last  people
that actually believe in love.

 M stands for Mephistophiles.  That is who she worked for.

 N stands for Necropheliac.  She didn't move very much, did she?

 O is for On top.  When on top she has another O word.

 P is for Pill.  She said she was on it.  She lied.  She is now sueing  you
for a few hundred bucks a month.

 Q is for Quitter.  She couldn't last.

 R is for Rich little Bitch.  She bought my love but I paid for it.

 S stands for Stab.  Stabbing would be fun.

 S is also for Steve.  Steve was the guy that was sleeping with her.   Steve
is a bad person.  Perhaps you should stab Steve.

 T is for torture.  Torture is what she did.  She tortured you with the 
truth. She also tortured you with lies.  She even tortured you with whips and
 hand-cuffs.

 U is for Understatement.  Saying you hate that fucking bitch is an
 understatement.

 V is for Voluptuous.  That is the primary reason you were dating her  in
the first place.

 W stands for Wine.  Wine is expensive.  She loved wine.  She got drunk 
awfully slow though.  After too much wine she liked to fuck.  But after too  much
of it she puked; that is, from the wine. Not the activity.

 X is for Xylophone.  Because X is always for xylophone.

 Y stands for You suck!  Remember when she yelled that at you.

 . stands for period.  Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied  to
you about taking what P stands for.  It also means you won't get any for a 
week.

 (I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO Z)