Conference Call Services
Dog Ramps Valentine cards
LaughNet
Gator bar

Subscribe to LaughNet Daily Jokes in Your Mailbox Daily
  Home » Computers »
Search
Search Body
Categories
Aging (14)
Bloopers (19)
Blue Collar (11)
Cartoons (38)
Computers (83)
Crude (42)
Education (58)
Gender (89)
Holiday (36)
How To's (7)
Jokes (45)
Misc. (119)
Parenting (17)
Pets (18)
Photos-> (44)
Politics (22)
Religion (24)
Sci-Fi (8)
Songs (6)
Sports (6)
Tests (16)
Workplace (90)
What's New?
Short Management Courses Part II
The HMO FAQ
Some Darwin Award Winners



Cardwoo Scrolling

Star Trek II (UNIX Version)

 

I was watching Star Trek II again last night when suddenly I had
this vision of what would happen if instead of a duel between 
starships, it was computer systems.  What resulted is this:

-----
Kirk:   What is the meaning of this attack?
Khan:   Surely I have made my meaning clear.  I mean to avenge myself
	upon you, Admiral.  I deprived your system of UUCP connections
	and when I swing around I mean to deprive you of your life.
	But I wanted you to know who it was who had beaten you.
Kirk:   Khan, if it's me you want, I'll have myself rcp'ed over.  Spare
	my crew.
Khan:   I make you a counter-proposal.  I'll agree to your terms, if ...
	if in addition to yourself you hand over to me all data and
	materials regarding the project called UUNET.
Kirk:   UUNET?  What's that?
Khan:   Don't insult my intelligence, Kirk.
Kirk:   Give me some time to recall the data from our archives.
Khan:   I give you sixty seconds.
Kirk:   Clear the bridge.
Spock:  At least we know he doesn't have UUNET.
Kirk:   Keep nodding as though I'm still giving orders.  Mr. Saavik,
	punch up the data charts of Reliant's password file.
Saavik: Reliant's pass...
Kirk:   Hurry.
Khan:   Forty-five seconds Admiral.
Spock:  The free login?
Kirk:   It's all we've got.
Saavik: File's up, sir.
Khan:   Admiral.
Kirk:   We're finding it.
Khan:   Admiral.
Kirk:   Please.  Please you've got to give us time.  The machine room is
	smashed, the editors inoperable.
Khan:   Time is a luxury you don't have, Admiral.
Kirk:   Damn.
Khan:   Admiral?
Kirk:   It's coming through now, Khan.
Spock:  Reliant's free login is 16309.
Saavik: I don't understand.
Kirk:   You have to learn why things work on a UNIX system.
Spock:  Each system has its own hidden free login.
Kirk:   To prevent an enemy from doing what we're attempting.  We're
	using our console to order Reliant to let us login.
Spock:  Assuming he hasn't changed the combination.  He's quite
	intelligent.
Khan:   Fifteen seconds, Admiral.
Kirk:   Khan, how do we know you'll keep your word?
Khan:   Oh, I've given you no word to keep, Admiral.  In my judgement,
	you simply have no alternative.
Kirk:   I see your point.  Stand by to receive our mail message.  Mr.
	Sulu, lock an Internet connection on target and await my order
	to login.
Sulu:   Connection pending.
Khan:   Time's up, Admiral.
Kirk:   Here it comes.  Now, Mr. Spock.
Spock:  % telnet reliant
Trying...
Connected to reliant.
Escape character is '~'.

M-6 Duotronic
U.S.S. Reliant, NCC-1864

login:
Spock:  login: 16309
%
Joachim: Sir, the Enterprise is logging on.
Khan:   Kill them.
Joachim: I can't!
Khan:   Where's the chroot call?  The chroot call!
Kirk:   Fire.
Sulu:   % su
#
Kirk:   Fire!
Sulu:   # rm -rf /
Khan:   Reboot, reboot!
Joachim: We can't reboot!
Khan:   Why can't you!?
Joachim: They've corrupted the file system and the /etc directory!  Sir,
	we must power-cycle.
Khan:   No!
Joachim: Sir, we must!
-----

And the rest is (ahem) history.

This article was added to LaughNet on Tuesday 15 March, 2005.


Save Star Trek II (UNIX Version) to del.icio.us Save to del.icio.us
  |   Digg this Star Trek II (UNIX Version) Digg this   |   Google Bookmark Star Trek II (UNIX Version) Google Bookmark this   |   Add Star Trek II (UNIX Version) to Yahoo myWeb Add to Yahoo

Reviews
Reviews
  Home » Computers »

LaughNet page design is copyright (C) by Stephen Henry and may not be copied . All material is believed to be in the public domain. If an article does not have the appropriate credits please Contact us.