1. Your dog keeps running away, but you always 
   know where to find him: In front of your
   ex-boyfriend’s door.
                       
2. He brings your husband his slippers and he brings
   you the car keys.
                       
3. He eats a load full of grass in the backyard,
   comes back in the house and waits by your husband’s 
   shoes.
                       
4. When he eats his dogfood, he gags everytime    
   your husband walks past him.
                       
5. After your wedding, your dog played dead for a week.
                       
6. You notice that all the other dogs in the neighborhood 
   keep giving your husband dirty looks.
                       
7. When he’s supposed to bring your husband the paper, the 
   only part he brings are the "apartments for rent." 
                       
8. When your husband walks the dog, your dog tries 
   to drag him to another neighborhood.
                       
9. When you come home, your dog comes running 
   over to greet you. When your husband comes 
   home, the dog sits down and starts scraping 
   his butt along the carpeted floor.
                       
10. Your husband’s cat has been missing for days.