Spotted in a toilet of a London (UK) office:
    TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

    In a Laundromat:
    AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

    In a London department store:
    BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

    In an office:
    WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER  YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

    In an office:
    AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

    Outside a secondhand shop:
    WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

    Notice in health food shop window:
    CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

    Spotted in a safari park:
    ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

    Seen during a conference:
    FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

    Notice in a field:
    THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

    Message on a leaflet:
    IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

    On a repair shop door:
    WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

    Notice on a restaurant window
    LUNCH SERVED DAY AND NIGHT