Above the entrance to a large office department: Please use your sixth
sense: HUMOR

On an executive's desk: Nobody's perfect.  I'm the perfect example.

On an executive's desk: Truth is a precious commodity and therefore
should be used as sparingly as possible.  --Mark Twain

On a secretary's desk: Fact-finding beats fault-finding.

At a health insurance office: Get our reliable health insurance. 
Don't make your doctor perform a wallectectomy.

In a mechanics shop: An idealist: One who has both feet firmly planted
in the air.

In an executive's office: Sometimes silence is the best way to yell.

In a sales conference room: Babe Ruth struck out 1213 times.

On an office desk in a large business: They don't dare fire me.  I'm
always too far behind in my work.

On an office wall: Even moderation ought not to be practiced to excess.

On the same office wall: One of the greatest labor-saving devices of
today is tomorrow.

In the window of a cleaning shop: QUALITY DRY CLEANERS-- Twenty-eight
years on the same spot.

Outside an auto muffler shop: No appointment necessary.  We hear you
coming.

Besides a dentist's office: Patient parking only.  All others will be
painfully extracted.

Over a barn door: Agriculture is something like farming, only farming
is doing it.

On a New Hampshire septic tank truck: You make it, we take it.  We
rush so you can flush.  You dump it, we pump it.  The underside of life;
get the truth from us.


	Signs observed by Eric W. Johnson:


In a kitchen: If the icebox catches on fire, ring the towel.

In a restaurant: Don't tip he waiters --it upsets them.

Another eatery: Eat here --why go somewhere else to be cheated?

Yet another food joint: Come in and eat before we both starve.

At a store: In God we trust; all others pay cash.

Another store: Credit extended to those over 80 if accompanied by 
their grandparents.

Yet another store: Your face is good, but it won't go in the cash register.

And a couple of beer joints: (1) We don't sell any beer on Sundays and mighty
darn litle during the week.  (2) Our beer contains vitamin P.

Above the door of a physical therapy room in a nursing home in Olathe,

Kansas: "Faith, Hope, and Therapy."

In a science lab: Tragedy is the murder of a beautiful theory by a brutal
gang of facts.

In a science lab: The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.

On a marriage counselor's door: Back in an hour.  Don't fight.

On a ski slope: Going beyond this point may result in death and/or loss
of skiing privileges.

At the entrance to a school administration building: Education will 
broaden a narrow mind, but there is no known cure for a big head.

In a cemetery: No trespassing Violators will be haunted.

Inscribed on a prison: Cease to do evil.  Learn to do well.  [George Bernard
Shaw, who reported this sign, remarked that it was on the outside where
the prisoners couldn't read it.].