How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?
Four skin divers.



   Two divers surface after a long, deep dive.  As their heads pop out of the
water, a squad of jets (called Buccaneers in South Africa) flies low above their
heads.  The one diver puts his hands over his ears and shouts, "It's those
Buccaneers!!!"
   To which the other replies, "Yeah, mine are hurting too!"



   Three instructors and their students are on board a dive boat in the middle
of the ocean.  There is a NAUI instructor, a PADI instructor, and an SSI
instructor.  Everything is going fine until the boat springs a leak and starts
to sink.
   The SSI instructor says to his students, "Okay, we're in the middle of the
ocean, so we might as well do our deep dive."
   The NAUI instructor says to his students, "Okay, we might as well do our
navigation dive, so let's get our compasses out and swim towards shore."
   The PADI instructor says to his students, "Okay, for $25 extra you guys get
to do a wreck dive!"



When I got certified, the instructor always stressed that you never go diving
alone.  If you run out of air, your buddy can help you.  If you have equipment
problems, your buddy can help you.  If you meet a shark, your odds are 50-50
instead of 100%"



Do you know what SCUBA really stands for?
Some Come Up Barely Alive