1.  All posts containing humorous, sarcastic, parodical, and/or satirical
passages, or any other post not intended to be taken seriously must be
labeled prominently in the header as follows:

  a.  The Subject header must contain at some point, the string "HA!".

  b.  The Keywords line shall contain a summary of the hazard levels
      present in the post, ranked on a scale of 0-4 in the following
      categories, in the order:  humor, sarcasm, satire:
	    0 -- No hazard
	    1 -- Slight hazard
	    2 -- Moderate hazard
	    3 -- Extreme hazard
	    4 -- Critical hazard

  c.  The Summary line shall contain any specific notices of hazard as
      required under local and state laws.

  d.  In a satirical or parodical post, a disclaimer should be present
      in the header to avoid confusion.

2.  All humorous, sarcastic, parodical, or satirical remarks within the
body of a post must be clearly labeled as follows:

  a.  Preceded by a clearly-worded warning ten (10) lines in advance.

  b.  Preceded by a clearly-worded warning one (1) line in advance.

  c.  Preceded immediately by not less than three (3) smileys of a
      commonly acceptable variety compliant with Smiley Code paragraph 4,
      subparagraph b.

  d.  Followed immediately by not less than three (3) smileys of a
      commonly acceptable variety compliant with Smiley Code paragraph 4,
      subparagraph b.

3.  Hazards shall be defined as follows:

  a.  No hazard:  Found to contain no more than 1.5 times background
      contamination levels in no less than two (2) independent tests.

  b.  Slight hazard:  Contamination exists in amounts greater than 1.5
      times background levels, yet have been deemed insufficient in
      no less than two (2) independent tests to be capable of bodily
      harm during casual exposure.

  c.  Moderate hazard:  Significant risk of bodily harm due to prolonged
      and/or excessive exposure and/or slight risk of bodily harm due to
      casual exposure, as determined in no less than two (2) independent
      tests.

  d.  Extreme hazard:  Significant risk of bodily harm due to casual
      exposure, as determined in no less than two (2) independent tests.

  e.  Critical hazard:  Significant risk of bodily harm due to ANY
      exposure not compliant with any and all codes pertaining to
      the handling of hazardous materials.

4.  Those posts containing materials deemed critical hazards must not be
handled except by trained personnel in compliance with any and all codes
pertaining to the handling of hazardous materials.