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New Scuba Technology Available

 

Thanks to a co-operative development team headed by Navy Divers, USDivers
and Hormel Chili, new mixed gas rebreathing technology has been developed
to tap a natural gas source carried in the human body. Project "Butox" was
created to convert natural body methane into a viable air source using
existing military rebreather technology. Sgt.Major Ophgaus of the Navy's

Phlatulence Unit (PU) stated in an interview:

  "It was a grand idea just sitting under our noses. It came to us in a
blast of inspiration during chow. Private O'durs happened to be sitting on
his snorkle when *Phhhrt!* it blew over us."

The Flatulence Anal Rebreather Tank (FART) technology is basically a rectal
snorkle hooked into rebreather unit fed by natural body gases. Special care
has to be taken as to diet prior to dives, and methane exposure limits
should be observed. The unit has been known to get overloaded by excessive
amounts of beans, kraut, tofu, and/or cheap beer prior to diving.

Manufacturers of SpareAir are foreseeing competition of their existing
product.  Rather than having to carry a redundant air source FART divers
merely have to pull their finger (or buddy's finger) for air in a pinch.

While no instances of Butox decompression illness has been reported,
technicians recommend carrying essential safety equipment on board dive
boats for emergency treatment of an anal embolism including oxygen
suppositories and a disposable bic lighter.

This article was added to LaughNet on Monday 25 April, 2005.


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