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What's New?
What I Want in a Man
Make Like an X and Y
Short Management Courses Part II



Cardwoo Sell

MUNSA Application

 

      Have you an unusual Intelligence?  Do you find you lose interest in 
      supposedly "Interesting movies"?    It  could  be  that  you're  one 
      of the 5%  of  the  population  that  has  the mental capacity of a 
      steaming turd! If so,  you  may  want  to  join MUNSA - Mentally 
      Unemployed and Noticeably  Stupid Association.
      
      Try the questionnaire below.  The results could surprise you!  If you 
      can't  even  read  the  question,  you're  halfway there already - 
      just get someone  to  fill  out  our  full  colour brochure at any 
      trailing chemist, and you'll be in for some, good old fashioned 
      non-challenging  material.


1.      Which of the following WAS one of the famous Marx Brothers?
	a.  STRETCH     b.  SKID        c. HARPO        d.  TYRE

2.      The number missing from the series (1,2,4,..,16) is:
	a.  YELLOW      b.  GERANIUM    c. 8            d.  TYRE

3.      The letter missing from the series (a,b,c,..,e) is:
	a.  z           b.  b           c. d            d.  TYRE

4.      A man walks into a Barber Shop, with $5.00.  He buys 2 lemons
	at 45c each, 1 Pickled Eel for $2.40, 4 packets of washing powder
	for $3.15 each.  What will happen?
	a.  The Barber is going to wonder where all the stuffs coming from
	b.  He wasn't in a Barber's shop, it was a Dairy
	c.  The Barber will ask him if he's from MUNSA
	d.  Tyre

5.      Two trains leave the same station, but moving in opposite directions.
	The first train is travelling at 50km/hr EAST, while the second one
	is travelling 50km/hr WEST.  Which train is travelling the fastest?
	a.  The one going EAST
	b.  The one going WEST
	c.  Neither
	d.  Tyre
	e.  Why aren't there (e.)'s in all the other questions

6.      What comes next in the series (RED, GREEN)
	a.  A car
	b.  Orange
	c.  Insufficient Data
	d.  Tyre

7.      Mona Lisa was:
	a.  A dissatisfied Woman
	b.  A Song by Billy Idol
	c.  A painting
	d.  Tyre

8.      The cold war was about:
	a.  Ice
	b.  Autumn
	c.  A few people at the top not liking each other
	d.  Tyre

9.      Complete the following Sequence:  (Tyre Tyre Tyre)
	a.  Tyre
	b.  Tyre
	c.  Tyre
	d.  Pardon?
 
 Ok, time to total up all your marks.  Those of you who haven't mastered 
 addition yet, go straight on to the application; you're the sort of person 
 we're looking for.  If not, Give yourself 5 points for every D, -5 for 
 every C, (+10 if you can't add negative numbers yet), 0 for every B and 0 
 for every A you ticked.

How did you do.
90 to 50      OK!  You're the sort of person we're looking for.  Add 10 points
	      to your score if you haven't got the hang of using anything but
	      crayons yet

50 to -20     Who's been doing late night studying then?  Sorry, you're just
	      a run of the mill pleb - push off.

-20 to -90    A computer geek I bet.  Go join some place where they talk
	      big numbers and floppy disks!

is 85 between   ALLRIGHT! go to the bottom of the class, you're a leading
90 and 50?      light in our Association; get someone to fill the form in
		for you and welcome aboard!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What will MUNSA do for you?
MUNSA is a group of people just like yourself, and as such will have much 
the same interests.  We'll meet once a month to watch American Game Shows 
(Except for our "advanced" class which will be watching the Australian 
Imitations), Television Dating Games, and listening to Pulic readings of 
Romance Novels. Also at the meetings, you'll have the opportunity to buy:

 * Swamp land at ridiculously inflated prices 
 * Genuine Japanese imports with UNTAMPERED ODOMETERS (with scratces on it)
 * Slice/Dice/Mince/Stack shelf-mount food mungers from C-Tel
 * "Safe" relocatable houses from Chernobyl and many many more things, as yet not exploited.

As a special initial offer, you will be given a free Brain Warning device 
which rings an alarm if your IQ gets above 25, in time for you to go back to 
your local for a couple of jugs of your favourite Weasels. 

This article was added to LaughNet on Tuesday 09 August, 2005.


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