Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
 Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
 
 Rule #1:
 When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill.  It does not matter if he
 already has one.  I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to 
 complain.  As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.  
 No one knows why.
 
 Rule #2:
 If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
 ratchet or socket in it.  Men love saying those two words  "Hey George,
 can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK.  By-the-way, are you through with 
 my 3/8-inch socket yet?"  Again, no one knows why.
 
 Rule #3:
 If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99 cent
 ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear
 view mirror.  Men love gifts for their cars.  No one knows why.
 
 Rule #4:
 Never buy men bathrobes.  Once I was told that if God had wanted men to
 wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
 
 Rule #5:
 You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn
 out.  If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with 
 the little picture in the corner.  Watch him go wild as he flips,
 and flips, and flips.
 
 Rule #6:
 Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or
 deodorant.  I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
 
 Rule #7:
 Buy men label makers.  Almost as good as cordless drills.  Within a
 couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere.  "Socks.  
 Shorts. Cups.  saucers.  Door.  Lock.  Sink." You get the idea.  
 No one knows why.  

 Rule #8:
 Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box.
 It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. 
 No one knows why.
 
 Rule #9:
 Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber,
 Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire.  
 It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.  
 
 Rule #10:
 Men enjoy danger.  That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. 
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane  tank.  Tell him the gas 
line leaks.  "Oh the thrill!  The challenge!  
 Who wants a hamburger?"
 
 Rule #11:
 Tickets to a Cowboys game are a smart gift.  However, he will not
 appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
 Everyone knows why.
 
 Rule #12:
 Men love chain saws.  Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw.  If
 you don't know why - please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he 
 gets a label maker.
 
 Rule #13:
 It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension
 ladder.  Never buy a real man a stepladder.  It must be an extension 
 ladder.  No one knows why.
 
 Rule #14:
 Rope.  Men love rope.  It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at
 least The Boy Scouts.  Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" 
 manila rope.  No one knows why.