NAME:  Greg B
  
    DESIRED POSITION:
     Reclining.  Ha ha.  But seriously, whatever's available.
     If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here
     in the first place.
  
    DESIRED SALARY:
     $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style
     severance package.  If that's not possible, make an offer and we
     can haggle.
  
    EDUCATION:   Yes.
  
    LAST POSITION HELD:   Target for middle-management hostility.
  
    SALARY:      Less than I'm worth.
  
    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:  My incredible collection of stolen 
    pens and post-it notes.
  
    REASON FOR LEAVING:  It was lousy.
  
    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:  Any.
  
    PREFERRED HOURS:  1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
  
    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:  Yes, but they're better suited 
    to a more intimate environment.
  
    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:  If I had one, would I be
    here?
  
    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
    LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:   Of what?
  
    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
     I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have
     a car that runs?"
  
    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
     I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse
     Sweepstakes.
  
    DO YOU SMOKE?:   Only when set on fire.
  
    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
     Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks
     I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
     Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
  
    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF
    YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:  No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
  
   SIGN HERE:   Scorpio with Libra rising.