Who ordered all this nauseating cheer
I've had Christmas up to here
I'm mad and I'm not gonna take it anymore
So here's the little plot I've got in store

Up on the roof with nails and saws
I'll build a trap for Santa Claus
And when he lands in that hokey slay
I'll make this Christmas crud go away

Ho Ho Ho You'd better know
I've got a way to make it so

Up on the housetop click, click, click
Throw a big bag over old Saint Nick

Down from the roof top out in back
Santa, Reindeer, sleigh and pack
Watch his Yuletide spirits droop
With juggles locked in the chicken coop

Ho Ho Ho You've gotta know
Fatso's tied up head to toe
This little plan will work because
I'm gonna kidnap Santa Claus

All of you kiddies are out of luck
This year's Christmas one dead duck
Let all the little brats scream and shout
I ain't never letting Fatso out

Ho Ho Ho won't let him go
Not for even tons of dough
I can't dream of a scene so nice
When I go and put Fuzzy Face on ice

Bye Bye to sleigh bells that gave me grief
Bye bye to caroling what a relief
Best of all that blasted cheer
Won't be annoying me again next year

Ho Ho Ho now you know
Dear old Santa has to go
Without Fatso it's understood
Christmas is history and gone for good