How to tell if your dog has a problem: Ask yourself the following
questions.

1. Does your dog know the spelling, Latin root and French translation
of the word "walk," yet is unable to grasp the meaning of the word
"come"?

2. Does your dog immediately leap on a cat, bunny rabbit, or child
upon hearing the words "Don't worry he LOVES cats, bunny rabbits and
children"?

3. Is your dog shameless, graceless, without dignity and extremely in
touch with his inner puppy?

4. Does he wake you up in the middle of the night to warn you of the
dangers of a kitchen chair, then sleep through the theft of all your
valuable possessions?

5. Does he develop a tragic and profound deafness at the sound of
"It's time to go home," yet possess bionic hearing at the sound of a
can opener? 

If you answered "yes" to most of these questions . . .relax, your
dog is normal.