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God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire

 

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage.  In order to
better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the
following questions.

Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely
confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you
prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.

1. How did you find out about God?

  __ Newspaper                    __ Other Book
  __ Television                   __ Divine Inspiration
  __ Word of mouth                __ Near Death Experience
  __ Bible                        __ Other
  __ Torah                             (specify): _____________

2. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to
   God?  Please check all that apply.

  __ Tarot                        __ Lottery
  __ Horoscope                    __ Television
  __ Fortune cookies              __ Ann Landers
  __ Self-help books              __ Sex
  __ Biorythms                    __ Alcohol or drugs
  __ Mantras                      __ Other: _____________________
  __ Insurance policies           __ None

3. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the
   balanced level of felt presence and blind faith.  Which would you prefer
   (circle one)?

  __  a. More Divine Intervention
  __  b. Less Divine Intervention
  __  c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
  __  d. Don't know

4. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles.
   Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling of the following
   (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):

  a. Disasters (flood, famine,earthquake, war)
                 1   2   3   4   5

  b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous remission of disease, sports upsets)
                 1   2   3   4   5

5. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the
   quality of God's services?  (Attach an additional sheet if necessary):

This article was added to LaughNet on Sunday 07 August, 2005.


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