25. Two words: whoopie cushion

24. Wear green lipstick and pinch everyone and tell them it's for 
"not honoring St. Patty". If they correct you to tell you it's not 
St. Patrick's day, whisper "Don't tell that to the leprechaun!" and 
slither away. 

23. Call your boss "Sport" and "Slugger" for your entire last week.

22. Constantly eat hamburger. On your last day, "accidentally" leave 
hamburger meat on/in/near your desk. 

21. Walk around quietly singing "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, 
guess I'll go eat worms" 

20. Play dead.

19. Sign all your emails "Disgruntled,"

18. Don't wear deodorant. If people act like you smell (because you 
do), tell them it's your new cologne "mordre" (French for "bite me"). 


17. Burn incense and if you're told it's against office policy to 
have something burning inside, say in an evil voice as you can 
muster,  "Fine. YOU tell Buddha that!" 

16. Send out very random one word emails to the whole staff like 
"banana" or "pancreas" or "transvestite". Nothing else. Just the one 
word. Do this about 3 times a day for a week, and if people tell you 
to stop, tell them it must be a bug in your system.

17. If you have a "kitchen" in your office, write "die" on the 
counter in blood. Just leave it there. Wear a prominent Band-Aid and 
look at everyone with a glare.

16. Come to work in slippers.

15. Wear white pants and thong underwear, even if you are a guy. 

14. If you're lucky enough to have a board meeting your last week, 
squirm like you have to pee, but tell people it's those "pesky 
parasites" 

13. . . .drink beer.

12. . . .wear a Burger King crown and sit with your eyes closed the 
entire time. Even when you're talking, don't open your eyes, but make 
facial expressions nonetheless. 

11. . . .consistently hum one monotone note quietly but keep acting 
like you are really interested in the meeting. Take notes, nod, look 
around. If someone asks what the noise is, say "What noise?" and act 
just as curious as everyone else.

10. Tell your co-workers you now prefer to be called "Posh Spice" 
because it makes you feel worthwhile and sexy. 

9. If you've been "let go", growl quietly every time you see your 
boss. Keep normal facial expressions and body movement. 

8. Tell people you are engaged, and when they start congratulating 
you, say in a defensive tone with your hand on your forehead, "Stop 
pressuring me! I'll get married when I get married!".

7. Tell everyone that next week, you'll be living the "high life" as 
an astronaut.

6. Go to a costume shop and get a real looking fake wound. Plaster it 
to your face and tell everyone it was from "that ferret I just can't 
get rid of".

5. Place a teddy bear next to your computer on your desk. Frequently 
talk to it and kiss it.

4. Give a forwarding address in Katmandu.

3. One day, have a "flashback" and come to work dressed in 80's 
attire. Tell your office mates you really never thought the 80's 
died, they were just taking an extended leave.

2. If you're ever in the coffee room alone, and someone else comes 
in, ignore their presence and make loud cappuccino noises while you 
prepare your drink.

1. Stay.