* In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs
and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it 
is called golf.

* The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up
work to get his mind off golf.

* Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor
players!

* Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.

* The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not
too often.

* There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons,
practice constantly -- or start cheating.

* An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice - once before
swinging, and once again, after swinging.

* Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot
count, criticize or laugh.

* Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in
front of you, and the fastest are those behind.

* Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments.

* There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play
eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

* Golf got its name because all of the other four letter words were
taken.