Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the 
invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Halftime -  The period between Sunday School and worship when many 
choose to leave

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do 
anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water 
fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be 
given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is 
almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last 
week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation 
if the preacher goes "overtime".

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest 
or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during 
the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to 
return for the evening service.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.