Cards You Won't See At Hallmark @ LaughNet

Cards You Won't See At Hallmark

Front: I heard you have gone deaf. Inside: I'll bet you didn't.

Front: I'm sorry to hear you have gone blind. Inside: See you later, you fucking bastard!

Front: I'm sorry to hear you are brain dead. Inside: It's really not that bad when you think about it.

Front: My sympathies on the last of your father's teeth falling out. Inside: Well, dadgummit!

Front: My condolences on the loss of your arms. Inside: Write back soon,

Front: I'm sorry to hear you have contracted Alzheimer's disease. Inside: I'm sorry to hear you have contracted Alzheimer's disease.

Front: I heard that you were very sick. Inside: I hope that you die painlessly.

Front: I heard you were dead. Inside: I hope it was painless.

Front: I heard your whole family got shot. Inside: So I turned up the volume on the stereo.

Front: Congratulations on your first period! Inside: Let's go out and paint the town red!

Front: Thank God you aren't pregnant! Inside: I might have had to admit I've had sex with *you*.

Front: I heard that you attempted suicide. Inside: Wishing you luck and success in all that you do,

Front: After all these years, it was good to run into you again. Inside: Thank God this time you didn't leave as much blood on my bumper!

Front: I was sorry to hear that your dog ran away. Inside: Next time try cooking him a little longer.

Front: They told me you were constipated. Inside: No shit?

Front: Wishing you a speedy recovery from your accident. Inside: Look forward to seeing you in court!

Front: Get well soon. Inside: I sick of walking two miles to get water.

Front: Congratulations on finally getting a life. Inside: Now get ready to lose it.

Front: Hot damn! Inside: I'm sorry to hear that your house burned down.

Front: Congratulations on your weight loss! Inside: It's a shame you had to saw off your legs to do it.

Front: When life deals you a hard blow Inside: So can I, big boy.

This article was added to LaughNet on Sunday 07 August, 2005.

Save to del.icio.us | Digg this Cards You Won't See At Hallmark

Digg this | Google Bookmark Cards You Won't See At Hallmark

Google Bookmark this | Add Cards You Won't See At Hallmark to Yahoo myWeb