Then: Long hair.
  Now: Longing for hair.

  Then: The perfect high.
  Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund.

  Then: Keg.
  Now: EKG.

  Then: Acid Rock.
  Now: Acid reflux.

  Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
  Now: Moving to California because it's warm.

  Then: Growing pot.
  Now: Growing pot belly.

  Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
  Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

  Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
  Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or ElizabethTaylor.

  Then: Seeds and stems.
  Now: Roughage.

  Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
  Now: Popping joints.

  Then: The president's struggle with Fidel.
  Now: The president's struggle with fidelity.

  Then: Killer weed.
  Now: Weed killer.

  Then: Hoping for a BMW.
  Now: Hoping for a BM.

  Then: The Grateful Dead.
  Now: Dr. Kevorkian.

  Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
  Now: Getting a new hip joint.

  Then: Rolling Stones.
  Now: Kidney stones.

  Then: Being called into the principal's office.
  Now: Calling the principal's office.

  Then: Screw the system!
  Now: Upgrade the system.

  Then: Peace sign.
  Now: Mercedes logo.

  Then: Parents begging you to get your hair cut.
  Now: Children begging you to get their heads shaved.

  Then: Take acid.
  Now: Take antacid.

  Then: Passing the driver's test.
  Now: Passing the vision test.

  Then: "Whatever"
  Now: "Depends"