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Cardwoo Sell

Are You A Latent Computer Geek

 

So you got away by the skin of your teeth on the first two questionairres,
but this is it, the biggy - the DECIDER.  You *could* be latent, with a
geek laying dormant in your subconcious, just waiting to get out.  Find
out now with our five minute geek test part III.  No cheating now, remember,
you're not cheating us, you're just cheating your analyst out of 180 an
hour...

1.      It's your birthday and your parents give you are large parcel.
	You hope:
	a.      It's expensive
	b.      It's something that'll help you "score"
	c.      It's got an alcohol content
	d.      It's measured in "gigs"

2.      Your favourite STTNG star is:
	a.      The Captain - Always the Captain
	b.      The Captain too, cos he scores all the good chicks, just
		like on the old generation
	c.      The guy with the car air-cleaner for glasses
	d.      Data

3.      You've got $20 left in your bank account, it's a friday night
	and you're bored.  You
	a.      Go see some friends and bludge off them
	b.      Invest your money in a couple of bottles of cheap
		cherry ripple leg-opener
	c.      Leave it in the bank as the interest rate is almost
		6 percent!
	d.      Go downtown and tease the autoback machine by withdrawing
		the money and cancelling it at the last minute

4.      The highlight of your career was when you
	a.      Pulled off a currency deal worth 31 Million
	b.      Bought R18 magazines when you were 16
	c.      Successfully Diagnosed yourself as having 3 degenerative
		brain disorders
	d.      Got your C64 to talk to the Washing machine so you
		really *could* program the wash

5.      Your cousin is the Black Sheep of the family because
	a.      He doesn't have a cell-phone
	b.      He doesn't drink Jack Daniels from the bottle
	c.      He doesn't collect unemployement benefit
	d.      He doesn't have a computer that doesn't rely on the TV to work

6.      You win a trip to any destination.  You go to:
	a.      Wall Street, the home of money
	b.      Gracelands, home of Elvis
	c.      Anywhere marrying siblings is legal
	d.      The Motorola factory

7.      You never cried so much as when
	a.      They told you Santa wasn't real
	b.      The Beatles split up
	c.      They told you you'd moved to an alcohol-free district
	d.      You heard Commodore 64s were discontinued

8.      The partner of your dreams is
	a.      A currency consultant with a Jet Ski and a Timeshare in Florida
	b.      An attractive blond with Big Bazookies that talks dirty
	c.      Dead
	d.      A Dual Pentium with personality simulation

9.      You have 24 hours to live.  You
	a.      Sell everything and indulge yourself
	b.      Make peace with you enemies
	c.      See if Anti-Freeze *is* drinkable
	d.      Back your personality up onto 4 Gig DAT (and only use .2 megs)

10.     The greatest threat to our way of life is
	a.      Nuclear Weapons
	b.      Communists
	c.      Low-Proof Alcohol
	d.      8 bit graphics

11.     You're drunk at a party.  You talk about:
	a.      Your financial model of the world
	b.      The one that ripped your heart out of your body,
		stomped on it, shot it twice, set it on fire, then
		flushed it down the toilet like...
	c.      How to make a good fruit punch with Ethyl Alcohol
	d.      Which is the better disk controller, EIDE or SCSI

12.     You have a kid.  What do you call it?
	a.      "Wall-Street", "Money" or "Profit"
	b.      A Single Syllable name like "Dave" or "Sue"
	c.      A miracle.
	d.      R-Two

13.     In the old family photographs, you're always the one:
	a.      With the winning smile
	b.      With the hair sticking up at the back
	c.      Clutching your Genetalia
	d.      

14.     When you die, your burial wishes are to be:
	a.      Buried in a gold-plated coffin
	b.      Cremated at a quiet ceremony
	c.      Dead first
	d.      Buried with a full set of Windows 95 floppies and Manuals

How did you do?
---------------
Mostly A's      - You're not a geek, but we still hate you.

Mostly B's      - You're normalish, no intellectual threat and not
		  really a geek either

Mostly C's      - You're really out there somewhere aren't you?

Mostly D's      - BING!  On the nail.  Need we say more?  Ok?
		  10 PRINT "GEEK"
		  20 GOTO 10
		  Get the picture?

This article was added to LaughNet on Wednesday 10 August, 2005.


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