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Accident Excuses

 

Many people who experienced automobile accidents were asked to explain 
what happened in a few words or less on insurance or accident forms. 
The following quotes were taken from these forms and were eventually 
published in the Toronto Sun, July 26, 19...

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree
 I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
intentions.

I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my
 hand through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before
 I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law
 and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I 
reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscurring my vision. I 
did not see the other car.

I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel
 and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble when my universal 
joint gave way causing me to have an accident.  As I approached the
 intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in place where no stop 
sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid 
the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I
found that I had a skull fracture.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the 
roadway when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.

I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of
my car.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car
with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cat.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of
its path when it struck my front.

I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The
driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

This article was added to LaughNet on Tuesday 09 August, 2005.


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